Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your boss' wife about the new redhead he just hired.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your pants.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more handsome, and smarter than some really, really big guy called Bubba.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe people are laughing WITH you.

Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.